Meant Alot to Damon
by mrs.salvatore39
Summary: scene to shot for 4x02 Elena wants to know just what exactly drinking Damon's blood meant to him. It has to mean something or Stefan wouldn't be so angry. LEMON


_a/n: the second episode of the season could have gone a lot differently for me, and knowing that I write scene to shot fics I look for all possible ways the writers could give us Delena moments- smut or no smut. I am ecstatic about the previous bathroom scene of course, because frankly they gave us something to work with. Some proof that it all means something, that what we're all writing for and hoping for will one day come around. But this scene, while mostly Stelena held some very Delena-esque feeling and I don't think it should have just ended like this. I think there could have been more. So…here is my I cannot beat Julie Plec with a stick for not going deeper into her writing, I do it for her haha._

_p.s. I didn't want to make this too repetitive considering I put a lot of my heart and soul into the last fic, but I wanted to take another approach to the whole blood sharing thing. And I really don't like Stefan so I kinda wanted to see him taken down a peg. Perhaps I'm kicking him when he's already down. Hmm…now I feel kinda bad for writing this fic lol. Anyways, hope you all enjoy. And yes, the next post will be the bedroom scene from 4x03, and Elena will stay for the show!_

Elena sat, her stomach churning and her cheeks burning in the Salvatore den. Her fingers shook around the glass Stefan had just handed to her. She felt like a child being scolded by their father, and she didn't like that feeling very much. She took a sip of the bourbon, feeling the alien sensation of the burn in her throat. It wasn't watered down beer at a frat party or the typical rum and coke she had whenever she did drink. This was hard, and smooth all at once. She coughed a little, knowing that Stefan was furious with her, but still hoping that somehow she could talk her way out of this, that she could make him see her side of it all. She took a deep breath, ready for the fight. "You're mad."

"Yeah, I'm mad." However, Stefan didn't sound like he wanted to fight. He wasn't accepting of what she did, but he wasn't screaming and cursing either. Where was his passion? Where was his fury? This wasn't blind hatred or uncontrollable anger. He was mad, about what? That's she drank from Damon? That she'd lied about the animal blood? That she'd lied about drinking from Damon? Would he have preferred to hear all the gory details about how incredible and sensual and bonding it was? "You lied to me."

"I didn't lie, I just didn't tell you."

He nearly rolled his eyes. "Come on Elena, you lied to me."

She felt hopeless, scared. Would he leave her? She didn't want him to leave her. She didn't want to be alone. She was so afraid to be alone; more so now that she couldn't control her emotions, rein them in to a normal level. There was nothing normal about the way she was feeling lately. "You were just so happy that things were going well, and…and-"

"You think I'm happy?"

"I just didn't want to ruin it for you." She'd wanted to protect him, that all she ever wanted to do. And now, it made her lie, and she hated herself for that.

"You're in hell, which means that I'm in hell. And then you go to Damon for help."

She took a deep shattering breath. It wasn't that she'd lied which really made him mad because he understood, on some level that she'd been just trying to protect his feelings. It was that she'd trusted Damon enough to tell him the truth, which was what hurt him more. "Yeah, because I thought he would understand."

"You think I don't?"

"Stefan please." She couldn't control her tears anymore, and she didn't want to. She hoped they would make him go easier on her, forgive her quicker.

"You fed on him Elena. You fed on him! I know that may not mean much to you, but it means a lot to me. And I know it certainly meant a lot to Damon."

"I didn't want to hurt you…look I'm sorry. I'm really really sorry." The tears were uncontrollable now, she didn't want to sob like a child. "Why am I crying? I'm so sick of crying!" she stood up, stomping into a pace back and forth.

He sounded more like a teacher now than a boyfriend. "Your emotions are a bit heightened right now."

"I feel like I've been crying since the day my parents died, and that my life is like a never ending funeral." She hated feeling like this, depressed and hopeless. As a human it was a feeling she could repress, could push down to deal with later but now it was boiling up to the surface. She didn't want to feel like this. "We keep burying people Stefan. You want to know what's heightened? This grief! I can't stop feeling everyone's grief. I feel like it's trying to explode out of me."

He was next to her then, in front of her and even though she'd done all these terrible things to him he still wanted to comfort her. Why? Why didn't he just leave? "Hey," he reached for her arm. His face was still tight, and she knew he was mad but he still cared. "come on, come with me."

"Where are we going?"

"There is something we need to do."

* * *

After the memorial, Stefan took Elena back to the Boarding House. Jeremy was going to stay with Matt for the night, and she didn't want to be in her family's home all alone. He knew that, but his anger at what she'd done was still too much for either of them to stand together, so he went out hunting. Elena waited in the living room, curled up in the chair with a fresh glass of bourbon in her hand. She watched the fire, waiting for one of the Salvatore brothers to come home. She didn't particularly want to be alone here either. Then the door banged open, and she just knew that it wasn't Stefan. She sunk down into the chair, hoping Damon wouldn't notice her. From the smell of him he was drunk. The door slammed again and she heard him stomp up the stairs. When his bedroom door closed loudly behind him she let out the breath she'd been holding.

Stefan had said that the blood sharing had meant a lot to him. Well what exactly had it meant? She knew that she'd felt amazing, but she didn't entirely understand why. She hoped he wasn't too drunk to give her the answers. Slowly, carefully, she made her way upstairs, waiting for Stefan to come home and stop her. Of course, if she'd asked him what it was all about she could have gotten reasonable, logical, safe answers, but she wanted to know how it affected Damon. She knocked on the bedroom door once, received a grunt as a response and poked her head in. He was sprawled on the bed, the sheet up to his hips. His clothes were strewn on the floor, which told her he was naked in bed.

"Hi." She whispered, knowing she sounded rather lame but not sure what else to say.

He grunted again, then opened his eyes and sat up slowly, eyeing her like the monster she felt. Was he afraid of her? Was he mad at her to? "You shouldn't be in here."

"I know." She stepped into the room anyway, closing the door and locking it. "I had a question."

Damon sighed and slumped back on the pillows. He shut his eyes tight, maybe hoping she would go away if he couldn't see her. "I'm not in the mood Elena."

"Please." She came closer to the bed, her fingers toying with the bedspread. It smelled like him.

"Is it about what happened in the bathroom?" he opened one eye to see her nodding. "I should have guessed. Where is my brother?"

"Hunting."

"Well, do you want to sit down?" She didn't answer, just slid onto the corner of the bed and then closer. He folding his arms behind his head propping them up. "Ask away."

"What did you mean, about kinda personal?"

"Are you telling me you didn't feel it?" his eyebrows rose slightly and he looked at her. He was testing her, and her eyes dropped to her folded hands in her lap.

"I felt…something." She confessed.

"Elena," Damon sighed and held the sheet against his body as he moved to sit up against the headboard. "if I tell you about bloodsharing you might not like the answer. It is -can be- a very personal thing, and it can mean a lot between two vampires if it's done right but that isn't why I did it. You needed blood and since it was my blood that turned you I thought it might help you. Obviously, you can't keep it down alone, so my theory was wrong."

"I won't be mad, I promise."

"Blood sharing is personal. It's very personal. Between two vampires it can be considered the closest thing to a complete mating as humans consider marriage. Of course, I would have had to drink from you to complete it, but having my blood in your system connects us further as you are…sired to me. I don't like the term, but it is the only one I know. I feel _it_, in the air now when we're in the same room together. _It _hums, our connection, our bond."

"And you thought I'd be mad, that I would think you were trying to trick me into feeling something more for you?"

"I offered you my blood with no strings attached Elena. With no hope or promise of something more. I never intended to ask for your blood in return or expected you to complete the bond. Within a few days that blood would be out of your system and you would have had nothing more inside you than the normal sire connection, which doesn't seem to be affecting you that deeply."

"So...what I felt when I was drinking from you…that 'hum' as you call it. That was us bonding?"

"That was the bond beginning. If I'd drank from you it would have been a lot more…personal. I would have seen into your mind and you into mine. You would have seen yourself as I've seen you, you would have been able to read my mind and I yours. As vampires, our wounds heal and we are left with no marks other than the ones we received when we were human, but the teeth marks from a blood bond like this would remain. Like weddings rings I guess. You are with Stefan, and I would never ask you to make that kind of connection with me."

"No?" she looked up at him, her cheeks burning again. Was it wrong that she wished he had drank from her? It was only a small part of her, but it was there. She wanted that kind of connection with him. Was it because of her 'sire bond' to him, or just because of the bond she'd felt before all the blood and fangs got into it.

"No. A choice like that has to be yours. It has to be ours, and it cannot be properly made unless you are completely mine."

"Do you have to be…mine as well?"

He sighed again, looking at straight at her. She shivered, feeling the intensity of his gaze. "I already am yours."

"Oh." She nodded, looking back down at her hands. "Thank you…for explaining it all to me."

Damon nodded, hesitating. "You're welcome."

She could tell that he wanted her to leave, but she didn't want to yet. She couldn't. "I have one more question."

"I guess it can't be any worse that what I just explained."

"My…feelings for you. My attraction…Stefan says now that I'm a vampire everything is heightened. How will being sired to you affect that? I mean…how do I know if what I'm feeling is real or just a reaction to your blood in my system? From the sounds of it I will be naturally drawn to you forever. I know I've been dreaming about you a lot more."

"You will always have a part of me in you, I will always be in your thoughts. My mind, my blood, my body can sense that on some level you belong to me because it was my blood that turned you but I will only have a hold on your forever if we take part in the blood bond. After a few hundred years, the connection, at least for me will die off."

"What you're saying is, is that I will never get to escape you?" she had a small smile on her lips, and he found himself smirking just a little.

"It could wear off for you too. We don't know how your doppelganger blood will affect any of this 'new you'."

"So…what I feel for you…how I feel now. I'm just supposed to ignore it."

He hesitated again, deciding to stay on the honest route. "Elena, you've been ignoring how you feel about me for quite some time now. No doubt your stubbornness has also heightened. You chose Stefan that night. I respect that. If I didn't we would be having an entirely different conversation right now and you would have a pair of scars on your throat."

"What if…" she swallowed, picking at something imaginary on the sheet. "what if I wanted to take that back? I made that choice as a human, without knowledge that I have now. Without memories I have now. Without intense feelings that I have now. Things are different…"

"Now?" he finished for her and she nodded. "Elena, if you choose me over Stefan now, tonight you may spend the rest of eternity wondering if the only reason you did it was because the blood is telling you too."

"That's just it." she faced him, moving closer on the bed. "It's not just the blood telling me. There were signs before, signs I didn't see. Didn't notice because I was too caught up in it all. We had to get Stefan back, we had to save him from Klaus. I had to deal with my own internal fears of becoming like Katherine. That's gone now. Yes, I care about Stefan, and I always will but he doesn't…understand me the way that you do. He never…he never has."

"Elena, you should go." Damon sounded like he was in pain, but she shook her head.

"He hates me now, hates what I've become. When he looks at me he sees Katherine, he sees a monster. He never wanted me to become this, but I have. He wants me to be like him, to hunt and live off animals. Well…I can't kill anymore baby deer. I saw Bambi okay?"

Damon couldn't help it, he laughed. "He doesn't hate you. He's just…scared that you will become a Ripper. He doesn't want you to have to deal with the guilt of hurting someone, of killing them."

"It's too much pressure. I can't be his Elena anymore. That Elena is dead…but you, you don't care who I am. What I am. You still love me…don't you?"

"Of course." He reached for her, framing her face with his hands. "Of course I love you."

"How do we complete the bond?"

Damon froze, looking at her with hard eyes. "No."

"Please?" she wrapped her fingers around his wrists, keeping him close. "Show me how to do this. My mind already belongs to you, why not my heart and my body too?"

"Because as much as I hate my brother, I love him. And I won't hurt him like this."

"Then why did you tell him I drank from you?"

"Because I needed him to see that what he was doing to you was wrong. That forcing you to drink blood from an animal wasn't going to keep you alive. He needed a wakeup call, to smarten up. He's what you need Elena."

"I need you." She crawled onto him, straddling him. "Only you. Every fiber of my body is telling me that."

"It's the blood talking. You will see, in a few days you will be thanking me that I said no."

"No." she shook her head, and he watched the veins darken beneath her eyes. "This is what I want." Her fangs came out and she held her wrist out to him. "It's what I need Damon. You are always there to give me what I need."

He knew how wrong it was, how wrong she was but he couldn't help how right it felt. "There is no going back from this Elena. You need to realize, this cannot be undone and you can never bond with another vampire like this. This will never ware off, not in a hundred years or a thousand years."

"I understand."

"Stefan will know Elena. Immediately. He will see the scars and he will sense it when he's with us. All vampires will. There will be no hiding it."

"I understand." She repeated again, biting into her own wrist and offering it to him.

He shook his head though and wrapped his hand around the back of her neck. "To do this properly…our bodies have to be joined, as well our minds."

"Oh." She took a deep breath, nodding. "That makes sense. I always knew you'd find some way to get me to sleep with you Damon Salvatore."

He couldn't help chuckling as he slowly started to remove her shirt, giving her time to run. To change her mind. "I don't always get what I want, but when I do I take everything I can get."

"And you want me?"

"Elena, I need you."

She liked the sound of that, removing her shirt for him. "Show me how bad you need me."

This time when he sighed it wasn't in anger or sadness. It was in frustration; the sexual kind. He pinned her down quickly ridding her of her jeans. "Remember, you asked for his."

"I won't forget."

"Normally I would make you break up with Stefan first. Normally I would not be willing to risk the chance that I would have to share you with my brother, but knowing that this will bond us in the way that you will be mine, makes it a little easier. I hate that I can't say no to you."

"Meaning?"

Damon removed her jeans, her socks, her panties all at once. "Meaning, you deciding to do this with me is already a sign you're ready to move on. The timing could be better, but I gather from his lack of appearance that things aren't the greatest between you."

"Damon," Elena eyed him harshly, letting her bra drop from her fingertips onto the floor. "I'm completely naked on your bed. Can you please stop talking about your brother?"

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Elena felt the sweat pouring from her skin, felt his sweat as she clasped her hands on his back. Their bodies moved together, and her spine arched as she came for him. She buried her face in his pillow, muffling her cries. His fingers dug into her hips, holding her in place, giving himself more strength. More leverage to move. His other hand was up by her head, supporting his weight. She could hear the blood pulsing through his veins, hear his heart beating in his chest. She felt her mouth go dry and her hunger increase. She hadn't been able to hold his blood down before, but now that she had some of Matt's in her system she felt healthy. She wanted to taste Damon again, feel the delicious warm blood on her tongue. "When?" she asked, breathless.

Damon opened his eyes, focusing on the vein in her neck. It was pulsing beneath the surface, waiting for him, begging him. "When I say."

He could feel his release closing in; felt hers as her body vibrated between him and the bed. "Please."

"Your hunger is insatiable Elena. I love it." He moved his lips to her neck, licking the skin over the vein he targeted. "Ready?"

"Mhmm." She nodded, her fangs set on his wrist.

They came as they bit; together. They drank slowly, easily. She didn't taste any differently now that she was a vampire, and he tasted even better now that she wasn't starving. They could savor each other, control the thirst. Neither had any fear of the other draining them. She felt the hum, stronger this time around. It started in her toes and slowly moved up, through her veins, through her muscles. Her skin felt like it was on fire, but it didn't burn. She was warm, all over, everywhere, especially where she and Damon touched. Especially where his fangs were inserted. The hum travelled up, into her mind and curled around and through her brain like live wires. Then she couldn't focus on how he tasted anymore, it was all about how she tasted to him. She was seeing into his mind, reading it, as if it was hers.

The same hum travelled up Damon's body and took over his mind. He'd always been a little wary of bonding with someone this way, would have only considered doing it with Katherine, but even as he drank from Elena he knew she was different. That this was different, that it was all going to be different. It was just a feeling he had now, a foolish hope; it was a knowledge. He could feel her love, could see it as she took possession of him and he took possession of her. There was no fear that her love for Stefan was greater, her human life was over. The first few days of her transition had been her trying to hold on to her past, to get something of that life she'd had before death back. But he could see her acceptance of who she was now; he could feel it as if it was his own. He retracted, pulling back from the bite and licking it clean.

She followed suit, relieved when he didn't disentangle their bodes as well. "Did you feel it that time?" he whispered and she nodded, unable to speak yet. "How do you feel?"

She thought for a moment, taking the time to really _feel_. "Strong, healthy, good. I feel good."

He smiled, pressing a kiss to her lips. The hum was there now, like static electricity sparking when they kissed. "No regrets?"

She shook her head, wrapping her arms around his neck. "No regrets."

The front door slammed below them, a sign Stefan was home. "You sure?"

Elena looked straight into his eyes. "Sired or not, I'm meant to be with you. As a vampire, there is no other destiny for me."

Damon smiled, sitting up and pulling her with him. "You better go tell him that then."

"Me?" she hissed, glaring at him as he climbed from the bed and began getting dressed. "Alone?"

"Of course not." He grabbed her leg, pulled her across the mattress so he could kiss her. "Never alone, never again."

_a/n: yep, I'm ending it there. I despise confrontation and it doesn't really have any place in my story. It could, but I don't want it to. So now I have a question, ignore the fact that we could all coin Elena as a cheating 'Katherine-esque' vamp and answer me this. Of the two 'blood sharing' theories I wrote A: (this one; a blood sharing=blood bond=basic vampire marriage), and in the previous fic 'Kinda Personal' B: (doesn't have to be simultaneous, but you get to see into each other's past and understand the others love for you) which do you prefer? _


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